On the injured reserves

Well, I have finally experienced what some brass players may call a rite of passage- I've injured my lips by playing too much.  Injuries for any classical musician are always nerve-wracking things.  Not only do many of us assume this is THE injury that's going to derail us permanently (what, melodramatic? me?), but oftentimes these injuries are invisible and, potentially, psychosomatic.  Unlike football players who strain their hamstrings or groin muscles (which sounds painful, don't get me wrong), I've strained any one of potentially 30-40 minute muscles that surround my mouth that no one except brass players or glass blowers probably ever think about.  At least I think so.  Gah!

So after 4 days of truly frustrating practice wherein I have simultaneously regressed 7 years technically yet know exactly what I "should" be sounding like....I've decided to take some days off.  I never take days off.  I think my last one was sometime around New Year's.  This is not because I'm some incredibly diligent worker, though I've always been one for the practice.  It's more that the amount of time and energy it takes for me to get back in shape has never seemed worth that one day of sitting around relaxing and eating bon bons.  It's the reason I exercise- the energy required to run 3 miles is significantly less than the energy it takes for me to feel bad about not exercising.  Perhaps this is true for everyone, I don't know.  I was raised Catholic, can you tell?

In any case, I'm planning on taking 3 days off from my horn, to the extent that it is possible with my performing schedule.  I'm not going to practice, listen to horn, or maybe even think about my horn until my head clears and my lips stop tingling.  I hear this is a healthy thing.  I myself am not convinced, but for the sake of everyone in the music building who's had to listen to me sound like a junior high student and then swear like a sailor, it might be better if I made myself scarce these next few days.  And those muscles that have decided to plead uncle had better man the hell up by the time I get back.  Harumph.

Inspiration, Perspiration

This past week, I was lucky enough to attend a conference at the UW called the Big Learning Event.  Basically a TED conference without the name, it featured six speakers who are all pioneers in their respective fields, from astronomy to rural community art projects.  While each speaker had incredibly interesting insights into not only the big issues of their own realms but large societal problems (public education, climate change), the one I found particularly relevant was a neuroscientist who has devoted his career to researching contemplative practices.  He and his team study the effects of meditation on the brain and on overall well-being.  His research on various masters of contemplative traditions (including the Dalai Lama) has led to concrete scientific data that we can teach ourselves compassion, focus, and happiness.  While this is nothing new or counter-intuitive, it was fascinating to see scientific and real-life evidence of people's amazing capacity to learn and improve themselves.

And of course, I find this particularly apt for my own daily horn practice.  Practicing an instrument is a form of meditation in itself, though of course without the ethical framework that gives meditation its spiritual connotations.  But I already devote hours every day to improving my focus, patience, and understanding of complex problems, a luxury I am grateful to be able to enjoy.  And hearing this scientist expound on the societal benefits of this personal contemplation practice, I was re-invigorated by the notion that hey, maybe I am making the world a better place by playing long tones every day.

I also feel a strong commitment to trying "actual" meditation as well.  I've never found it easy to sit in silence and not think about anything (or not think about myself), but maybe that's because I never practice.  Which, considering that I firmly believe in the value of a strong work ethic, is pretty unfair to the whole meditation camp.  So, try I shall.  I'm going to try to spend 20 minutes every day meditating outside of the practice room, within a more altruistic, ethical realm.  I always say I want to be more compassionate, less judgmental, less moody, and more giving, so maybe I need to actually work at that.  Every day, for a set amount of time, with a firm intrinsic commitment.  I have a feeling that becoming a better person will make me a better musician too, so everybody wins!

Oh, in other less-lofty news, I won my first audition!  Small regional orchestra, not the most strenuous audition circumstances, but I was the last one standing at the end of the day.  And that feels good.  Here's hoping I can build on this momentum.

A practice room for all seasons

Ahh, summer practice.  The time of year when I finally have time to concentrate on all the big horn-related projects I've been wanting to tackle without all the daily concerts and rehearsals sucking up my time.  I always feel like I accomplish a lot over the summer, but it's also harder to know whether that's really true.  This week especially, with Memorial Day and some hot and sticky 80 degree weather, walking inside the air-conditioned abandoned music building has felt like some strange recurring dream.  I stand inside the same fluorescent room and play the same excerpts and I wonder if I've in fact done the exact same thing the day before...or maybe that's still today.  Maybe I'm been co-opted into some secret government operation wherein I absolutely MUST perfect the second horn part of Beethoven 3 or state secrets will be revealed, which is the only reason for spending so many hours inside this desolate concrete building.  I've always imagined that a think tank (really a sinister sounding place) must somewhat resemble a university music building in the summer.
As I said, I think my brain might be turning to mush.  Walking out into the sunshine at the end of the day feels like I've walked through one of those wavy, iridescent worm-hole doorway things you see on sci-fi TV shows.  On the bright side of things, it makes me want to be super efficient with my time spent practicing indoors.  And makes me feel justified in drinking cold beer nearly every evening.  So there's that.

Ooh, and I found this great blog this morning on practice and performance tips for musicians: www.bulletproofmusician.com.  Kept me on task and working hard for today at least.